I woke up the other day with a stiff neck. Immediately I feared that my tumour had spread from the brain to my neck down my spine…!
Tumours have the ability to spread throughout the body, especially the higher grades of malignant cancer. One little thing of no significance made me fear something that was not and is not real. Simply because I read about the spreading of tumours in my research of cancer. It is inconsequential. It was just an illusion of my mind. The threat of a spreading tumour is real though. I found myself “freaking out man”! What you read in the news or on the internet may seem real because it is there, it may seem like an answer to your fears or a logical explanation because it is written. It does not necessarily mean it is true and I am glad I know that and have learned that in my life experience, or I would literally believe everything I have read, ever! Scaremongering seems to be the greatest threat to our instinctual survival in these times.
I don’t know if this is true, but my Partner told me recently about what she had seen on the news. Apparently, the government is going to stop funding the NHS for the expense of people who are classified as “terminally ill”. I have looked on the wide web and have found this news quote from channel 4 news:
“Thousands of people with serious illnesses have begun to receive the letters from the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP). Under the welfare reform bill plans, contributory-employment and support allowance (c-ESA) will be time-limited to one year from April 2012, meaning terminally ill people who have accessed c-ESA since April 2011 could lose all out of work help in just six months time. The government calculates that at least 700,000 people will be affected by 2015-16. Some terminally ill people may qualify for alternative help, but for the government to meet its targeted cut of £2bn, over 400,000 people must lose all support.”
Financially, (due to my inability to do work for long periods of time and my risk of seizures and fatigue caused by having a brain tumour), this makes me feel a little, umm, how can I put it, aggravated and a bit like a hopeless cause, for I am one of those “persons with serious illness”. It sounds more like the government trying to cut their losses in wasting money on people who are doomed to die. On the flip side, as my acupuncturist put it, it could be beneficial for alternative medicines to shine through the mist and fog of clinical treatments.
For example, thousands of people die every year due to conventional Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy. Many more suffer the side effects of these radiation therapies with long term disabilities and ailments. In the case of high grade cancer and its malignancy, there is an even greater risk of it coming back even if the treatments do work. To me it feels like a hopeless cause and it is just that. I do not condemn it completely, there are miracles within this NHS system that do work and I am glad of that. I just feel that maybe, just maybe, it may open up a glorious window for those natural dietary therapies and natural, anti-toxic treatments. It is about time Oncologists were taught about how diet can affect and reinforce conventional therapies. Whereas in this day and age, they suggest to maximise your energy levels with cans of coca cola and doughnuts. They are not taught how to sustain your body’s natural resources with healthy diet and supplementation.
I have trust that the way I am treating my Brain Tumour with diet and supplements alone is working for me and I know how I feel, I don’t feel as though I am dying. I feel as if I am giving myself the opportunity to heal. I am personally taking an active role in my healing, rather than relying on a system that does not work. If death was my goal. I would consider Chemo-Radiotherapy. I choose to face my own fear. I choose to heal myself. In making my own choices I feel I have the right to live a long and prosperous life with the love of friends and family and nature by my side.
For anyone facing the challenge of a diagnosis of cancer I say this… Do not be afraid to choose in your own time. Do what you feel is right, outside of the realm of the fear of your own death. People keep on saying to me, “we all die eventually”. They are right, we do! So knowing it is an inevitability, this should strengthen your resolve to make a choice in how you live that life. Acceptance… is truth.
I believe in my own power to heal and I believe in yours too.
Live long… in your heart, in your smile. In the ways you observe the world around you…
Much love and blessings,
Pabs.