I actually felt a bit sick when the Hospital Nurse gave me the news via the phone…
Your Tumour has grown slightly… (This is the unofficial gossip anyway, I have to wait til Monday 27th April for the real deal). Well… I was as polite and courteous as I could have been, hearing some daunting and ultimately, shit scary news. The truth is, I am sad, I was scared when I initially heard it through the telephone speaker, but I also see a window of opportunity. I can now firm my resolve and look at this cancer from a new angle, one where I must put all of my focus and healing power into finding something new that I have not considered. I still trust in my choice to not have the Chemo and the Radiotherapies! That has not changed nor altered and my perspective is still the same.
Fuck it! I will try anything worth trying. As long as it benefits me!
I feel that in some ways I have let myself down, somewhere along the line I have neglected something and tripped myself up. One thing I know for certain, there was always the risk that what I am trying to do would not be a certainty.
The diet is going well still, so what have I done differently? I still feel great. So where have I gone wrong? There is an answer, I just have to find it. No use in dwelling on the negatives here. Just focus on what more I can do, in positive action. I hope you are all still with me.
FOR I AM STILL HERE FRIENDS!…