If I were to look back upon my life and my self over the past 7 years, I I will find that there are many tiny flaws and ‘things’ I will find that I should have, could have and would have done differently!
Not the decision to deny the gold Standard of Care but maybe just those little things…
For example that one time I was staying at my uncles house and I ran out of Ketogenic foods and decided to eat chocolate flavoured sugary cereal and ended up gorging myself on them because the glucose lit up my brain and gave rise to the addictive urges. Consequently. I ended up having a Tonic Clonic seizure due to this insane decision!
This decision could have caused inflammation and tumour growth. How am I to know? I shall not dwell on it though. All these little things, in hindsight will always find a way to make you think, ‘what if’….?
It is not important in the here and now. It has no relevance. But I guess it is fun to ponder.
I have always enjoyed the concept of time travel and I feel that when we think about the ‘sight behind us’ we wish we could go back to it and rewrite it. But in that line of thinking, you would also not have learned anything that you currently do and therefore have lost wisdom and courage. So it will bite you in the butt.
In 2014 I had the mindset that cancer was punishment, initially!
After some radical acceptance of my situation. I was able to change my perception of it and bring about a change in myself and treated it as a lesson. Life can literally try to kill you but that is only if you allow it to be the one in control of ‘your’ life. Change is natural. The planet is constantly shifting on its tectonic plates, trees grow and wither, animals live, breed and die. It is a cycle and we all are a big part of it, internally and externally. The way we think about this planet & how we live on it, can be changed if we just look at it differently, with different eyes…
So… In hindsight, I know that my life was always going to be the way it is and yes, I could talk about how I wished this never happened, but then, I would not be the Pablo that I am.
All my love,
Pablo Isaiah Kelly.